Clumsypixi's Blog

Strawberries and Chocolate

clumsypixi — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 13:39:38 +0000

I want them. Feel good food.

Song in my head – “Save me” from Jem. Really..Save me.

“I’ve gotta stop my mind
Working overtime
It’s driving me insane
It will not let me live
Always so negative
It’s become my enemy

Why would I think such things
Crazy thoughts have quick wings
Gaining momentum fast
One minute I am fine
The next I’ve lost my mind
To a fake fantasy

And none of these
Thoughts are real
So why is it that I feel
So cut up and so bad
I need to take control
Coz my mind is on a roll
And it isn’t listening to me

Mirror mirror on the wall
Who’s the dumbest of them all
Insecurities keep growing
Wasted energies are flowing
Anger, pain and sadness beckon
Panic sets in in a second
Be aware it’s just your mind
And you can stop it anytime

Ok so here we go
If it works I’ll let you know
One two three I say stop”

Filed under: Random

Apologies

clumsypixi — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 11:48:27 +0000

Apologies for not getting back earlier. In relation to the earlier post, I am doing just fine now.

So here is an account of what happened -
Friday night - Take a fall damaging rear
Saturday Morning – Aaaahh!! WTF!! Then think oh well, maybe its nothing. (actually thinking..OMG!!!) Tell friends about it. They all yell – GO TO THE DOCTOR NOW. I say, umm it doesn’t hurt. I quite frankly do not like doctors, especially of this kind. So, I am going to wait it out.
Sunday Morning – FREAK OUT..During the course of the night, forgot the condition. Awake to see I am still under attack. Dial Jingle..who dials Pirana, with whom I end up going to this excuse of a doctor.

Happenings at the Women and Child’s clinic
Wait….wait somemore…look at pregnant women…wait somemore…look at wailing babies…struggle to hold down Pirana.(we do not want to land up in jail now!!)..wait a little more…Pirana nudges and signals for me to faint, so I would get a consultation asap. I was close to putting on my acting glasses, but the nurse called in me.
Doctor - Aged about 37, with greying hair, adorned with gold, wearing glasses.
Her bodyguard/nurse – Aged I don’t know how old, armed with a pad and a pen waiting to write down my bill.

Doctor – What is your Name?
Pirana - Pixi
Doctor – How old are you?
Pirana – 23, whispers to me..(dude, we are OLD)
Doctor to Pirana – So what happened?
Pixi – I am the one with the problem. And I don’t know what happened which is why I am here.
Doctor gives me a stare.
Pixi – Well, I fell down Friday night. Looks like my body thinks, it should start my cycle all over again.
Doctor – Its stress.
Pixi - Umm..my body really hurts. Unusually so.
Doctor - Its stress.
Pixi – Are you sure?
Doctor – Has this ever happened before?
Pixi – No.
Doctor – Then its stress. Take these meds, they should make your body ache better. Pay at the counter outside.
Pixi to Pirana - WTF!!!

Pirana – Lets just go home. I am hungry. Clearly this lady knows as much about her job as I know about nuclear physics. We can go to a doctor who isn’t looking for some extra spending money on a sunday.
Pixi – **blink**

Sunday Night
Talk my paranoia out to Jingle and Bloo. Feel worse.

Monday
Meet with Pirana at 8 PM. Look at the fish in the big fish tank at the hospital. There are blue ones and red ones…supposedly making out. I am going crazy by now. The doctor gets in by 8:30.
Doctor – Whats your name and how old are you?
Pixi - Pixi and 23
Doctor – So tell me exactly what happened.
Pixi - So I fell down Friday…my cycle started saturday…it hasn’t stopped yet.
Doctor – What were your previous dates?
Pixi digs into bag, pulls out sheet – Here you go
Doctor – Your done for this month then? This is the second time?
Pixi – That is correct.
Doctor - To the examination table.
Pixi – **gulp**
Doctor – **poke** Does it hurt here? **poke poke** Does it hurt here?
Pixi – Yes and No.
Doctor – Hmmmm….
Pixi – **gulp**
Doctor – Did you take any other meds at all in the last month?
Pixi – Yes I have.
Doctor – Eyebrow raised. Which brand?
Pixi - mumble mumble
Doctor – Rolling eyes…Never take that again. It is not good for you. It has a number of side effects. Take this it will stop it right now. Your cycle will go haywire for now but it should be back to normal in a month.
Pixi - **blink blink** So I am fine? Nothing is wrong with me?
Doctor – Yes Yes

Outside
Hugging Pirana Yay Yay Yay. Called Jingle..All is well.. Yay Yay Yay

Lesson Learnt – Do not mess with your body. It will scare the faeces out of you.

~Peace out~

Filed under: Friends, Random

Take out the trash

clumsypixi — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 16:47:36 +0000

I re-read Izzy’s latest post. It hit me like a freight train. Philosophy is oddly comforting when you are in over your head with shit! So, this weekend was spent in bed and in the hospital. The thing is, I have frequented hospitals all my life. Not too many times for personal ailments though. I still remember the number of times I have sat in the emergency, holding my leg and drooling over a cute doctor! **sigh** Sadly those days are over and gone. I no longer need to an orthopedic. I apparently need a gynecologist. This also signals the need to take out some trash that has been building up in my life. I can only imagine the horror of finding out the absolute worst. I am 3 months past 23. I do not need this in my life right now. Visiting a second consult tomorrow to make sure nothing is amiss. Never in my 10 years of graduating into womanhood have I experienced a mid cycle or missed a period. Combine this with a minor impact of falling on my backside Friday night, and my head has me spinning all kinds of stories.

Wish me luck amigos. I will post tomorrow after I am done with the doctor’s appointment.

Filed under: History

There was a time –

clumsypixi — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 09:55:35 +0000

There was a time when I was in love with sandwiches created by subway. Now, I go – “Yuck!!”
There was a time when papayas had the ability to make me hurl. Now, they make me go – “Another helping please.”
There was a time when skinny jeans were funny in my head. Now, I have 2 new ones added to my collection.
There was a time when I was a workaholic. Now, I am desperate to take vacations 5 days a work week.
There was a time when ignorance was bliss. Occasionally, still is. But mostly, ignorance in self infuriates me.

I am reading Madame Bovary again. It’s my “I am going on vacation” book.
Plus a light read of Meg Cabot’s Boy Next Door, to remind me of my teenage love affairs with these books.

Back to work now – !

Filed under: Holiday, Random, Work

Way to a healthier life….cough

clumsypixi — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 09:31:51 +0000

Zeroed in on my hobbies -

1. German language lessons
2. Karate lessons
3. Reading Randomly
4. Gourmet adventures

Latest Gourmet adventure -
Step 1. Whole wheat brown bread with raisins – toasted
Step 2. Cheese – any kind
Step 3. Roasted egg plant and bell peppers with seasoning
Step 4. Tomatoes and more tomatoes
Step 5. Slice #1 on the bottom, layer of grated cheese, black pepper/salt to season, egg plant, tomatoes,bell peppers, tomatoes, cheese and slice #2. **

**Any sauce can be used – I personally do not like Mayo (eggless or otherwise) and neither am I a fan of ketchup(waste of tomatoes if you ask me)

Ciao!

Filed under: Random Tagged: food, Healthy, Hobby, Language, Sport

~For you~

clumsypixi — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 18:55:40 +0000

I know everyone will think I am crazy. I am. But I love this song. This is for you. When I get to know you..and hold you..and know what its like…to begin my life over..

I’m not surprised, not everything lasts
I’ve broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet

I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it’s half timing, and the other half’s luck
Wherever you are, whenever it’s right
You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet

They say all’s fair
In love and war
But I won’t need to fight it
We’ll get it right and we’ll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it’ll all turn out
And I’ll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I’ll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it’ll all turn out
And you’ll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven’t met you yet

I just haven’t met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

**Sigh**I just haven’t met you yet….

Filed under: Random

Corona

clumsypixi — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 19:16:20 +0000

So, the movie ‘Eclipse’ ain’t that bad. Robert Pattinson does use lip stick for his broody sexy vamp look. I actually cannot believe I am up at midnight watching a terrible print of it on my father’s laptop. The last time I was this crazy(crazier) was for the seventh book release of Harry Potter. (justifiable as it was a book)
Anyways, I have shifted my base to the living room as my room seems to be infested with squirrels. Its kinda cute you know…them building nests in my window..NOT! I mean what ever happened to the trees I say!!! They should be allowed to live in their natural habitat. Sabotage!!!! The freaking makeshift bed makes my backside hurt more than I can bear. To top it all off, the neighbour decides to start roofing his house tomorrow. Goodbye Sunday morning snooze!!! Man!!!! What’s a girl to do to get some peace around here….I resort to the Pixi blog.

Thoughts in my head -
1. I loooveeeeee The Whatever factor blog by izziedarling. Absolutely Entertaining!!!!
2. Ashlee Simpson’s song – “Pieces of Me” deserves a thumbs up this weekend
3. Crazy Drivers on the road, move over. The nipple pincer is here.
4. Bangles seem to have a weirdly nice effect on Men. Unexpected but pleasant!!
5. Watching Drunks when self is sober is super fun…(when the drunk is not self)
6. Phenomenon re-affirmed. I cannot urinate with an audience.
7. I realised, the song Tik Tok by Kiesha sounds like a song about a lizard. (Tiktiki - Bengali for Lizard)..Tik Tok on the clock..(lizard on the clock)..But the party don’t stop no..whoa whoa oh oh…
8. En route to engage self in a hobby…linguistic or artistic???
9. I, so drive better than most male homo sapiens!!!!!!!!!!
10. Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star…hair flip…How I wonder what you areee….flip hair on the other side…Up above the world so high..giggle..like a diamond in the sky!! (finish the girlie girl version of the rhyme with a blow over thy nails) privileged few can view the above accented rhyme in facebook…performer – Karishma Shrivatsava, 11 year old super cute American Desi whom I am totally in love with..!!!!!! **sigh**

Peace out!

Filed under: Random

Musik in my head

clumsypixi — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 20:38:26 +0000

M.I.A
Bob Marley
Lady Gaga
Kanye West
Fall Out Boy

Filed under: Random

Things I think about

clumsypixi — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 20:28:59 +0000

1. I need anger mangament classes. Urghhhhhh
2. I miss loving Kanye West…Please make new music..I beg you..
3. I miss Tipu..my puppy love..
4. I wish to be independent of all human attachments…easier I say..
5. Making it work is HARD. Talking about it HARDER. Making the other listen is the HARDEST.
6. I like Hawaii for spiritual reasons..not for the sun, surf or sand.
7. Native Americans are fascinating….their attire more so…
8. I wish I could dance…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yZYOghQYG0
9. Making a decision is hard..sticking to it is harder.
10. Bloo din’t sing to me tonight.

Filed under: Random

Love Lockdown

clumsypixi — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 19:47:57 +0000

The reason Kanye West is a genius – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZwMX6T5Jhk

I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
What I had to do, had to run from you
I’m in love with you but the vibe is wrong
And that haunted me all the way home
So you never know, never never know
Never know enough, ’til it’s over, love
‘Til we lose control, system overload
Screamin’, “No, no, no, n-no!?

I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
See I wanna move but can’t escape from you
So I keep it low, keep a secret code
So everybody else don’t have to know
I keep your love locked down,You lose

I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
I can’t keep my cool, so I keep it true
I got somethin’ to lose, so I gotta move
I can’t keep myself and still keep you too
So I keep in mind when I’m on my own
Somewhere far from home, in the danger zone
How many times did I tell ya for it finally got through?
You lose, you lose
I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
See I had to go, see I had to move
No more wastin’ time, you can’t wait for life
We’re just racin time, where’s the finish line?
So keep your love locked down, your love locked down

I keep your love locked down, you lose
I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
I bet no one knew, I got no one new
Know I said I’m through, but got love for you
But I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
Gotta keep it goin’, keep the lovin’ goin’
Keep it on a roll, only God knows If I be with you,
baby I’m confused You choose, you choose
I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
Where I wanna go, I don’t need you
I’ve been down this road, too many times before
I’m not lovin’ you the way I wanted to
So keep your love locked down, your love locked down Keepin’ your love locked down, your love locked down I keep your love locked down, your love locked down I keep your love locked down, you lose You lose, you lose, you lose, you lose

There are times when someone else can put it across better than you…most times for me, its Mr.West. Thank you Mr.West.

Filed under: Random

Clumsypixi's Blog

Strawberries and Chocolate

Apologies

Take out the trash

There was a time –

Way to a healthier life….**cough**

~For you~

Corona

Musik in my head

Things I think about

Love Lockdown

Way to a healthier life….cough